On Why the 2000s Can DIAF

So, I think that I have spent every New Years Eve this decade hoping that the next year will be better than the last.

And it seems as if every following year seems to be as fucked, if not more fucked than the year before.

I don't think I am going to wish that anymore. Not that it was all bad ... I got married, graduated from college, got two awesome dogs. It is just that the bad seemed to overwhelm the good. I lost my grandparents on my moms side. I had two sinus surgeries. Countless trips to the emergency room for kidney stones. Watched people close to me suffer through painful physical and emotional traumas.

I spent pretty much the whole decade at the same place of employment, moving up and being an effective leader - only to be cut down in a pitiful manner. I feel like it is super fitting that I start my new job on the very first Monday of the new year. Change has been made and for that I am pumped up.

I got the chance to travel to some amazing places in the last 10 years. Tours to New York, Florida, and Europe with Chapel Choir. Trips to Texas and Chicago with J. There are SO many more places I want to go, but I do feel like I have been lucky to see the places I have so far.

I got to see many of my favorite bands ... Modest Mouse, Green Day, Dave Matthews Band, REM, The National, Nine Inch Nails. I was never up front in the pit, but I always enjoyed the show, even from the back where the old people were.

And now without further ado ... some pictures from the 2000s

You fancy a rock out?

Admittedly, Starlight is not one of my most favorite Muse songs. But it has a brilliant video and an even more brilliant making of the video ... video.

First ... watch this

(I would embed a youtube video, but Muse's record label has taken all of their official videos off ... bunch of cockwaffles.)

Second ... watch this in HD. It will probably take you several times to figure out what they are saying in their adorable British accents.


My personal favorites:

Do you fancy a rock out?/ It's not that kind of song
Who's going to fire the gun off?/ I think you'll find that will be me
There's going to be loads of people looking at that and thinking A MASSIVE SHIP IS SINKING!

Lastly there is a very real possibility that I will get to see Muse this year. My very first Muse show!

And that is why I <3 2010 already.

What I listened to in 2009

Amy's Super Favorite Tracks of 2009


Muse - United States of Eurasia +Collateral Damage

I love Muse. I love Queen. I love Chopin. United States of Eurasia is made of total and complete overkill win.





Lady Gaga - Paparazzi

I like Lady Gaga. Go ahead and judge me. 9 times out of 10, I would find myself listening to Lady Gaga on my way to job interviews. I don't know why. Whatever, I do what I want.





Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

This song reminds me a lot of "What It's Like" by Everlast. I like the line about the preacher lining his pockets with righteous dollar bills. Good Stuff. I also like that the lead singer appears to be having some sort of eplieptic fit when he performs live.





Manchester Orchestra - I've Got Friends

I love, love, love the anger and passion in this song. And the lead singers kick ass beard.





Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears - Get Yo Shit!

Black Joe Lewis is one of the many reasons I really want to visit Austin Texas. This album is non stop rocking out, old school blues style. She said you don't even buy me presents - yeah I did, I bought you a box of chicken, but I ate it on the way home.





Them Crooked Vultures - New Fang

John Paul Jones, Dave Grohl, and Josh Homme. I am historically a fan of anything that involves Hommes voice. This is no different.





Green Day - East Jesus Nowhere

I loved American Idiot. I am not as in love with 21st Century Breakdown, but I do really like this song.

What has been seen ... cannot be unseen

Have you ever been poking around on the internet and wind up finding a former coworker/classmate/friends public social networking profile and on further inspection come upon a video of them mud wrestling in what looks to be someones garage?

No?


hmmm.

My tongue has now become a platform for your lies

Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. Some good. Some horrifying.

I'll start with the good.

I have had several opportunities present themselves in the last few weeks to make a significant change in my life. A possible change in where I spend 8 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week. A change that will possibly put me in a place where my education and experience will be valued and used, as opposed to it being used as a threat held above my head.

Let me tell you, it is extremely disheartening to be told that your education and experience(and subsequent pay rate) is a liability. To be told that you should have been the first to go when the shit hit the fan. To be told that a favor is being paid to you in keeping you on, when you have no real position.

(you thought I was starting out with the good, didn't you??)

So ... I have these opportunities and they are with respectable non profit organizations that care about quality and people and compassion. I should know something by the end of the week. And that will be an incredible, enormous, life changing weight off of my shoulders.

In other nice news, J and I now own two VW products. We brought home an 06 Jetta last week. It is super duper nice inside and beeps when you back up to let you know if you are going to run into something. Which is helpful when you are a bad driver, like me. Even though I will probably never drive it, because J thinks it is his car.


*sigh* now for the hard stuff ...

My mom called me on Thanksgiving and told me that my Grandpa had passed away. He was supposed to go to dinner at my uncles and didn't show. He had apparently suffered a heart attack and passed at home.



No one was prepared for this. Granted he was 77 years old, and had been through some health issues lately, but no one was ready for this.

The next few days went by in a blur in which I felt emotionally stunted and retarded. Even through the showing, I just didn't feel like it had happened. This changed the day of the funeral. It was clear, and cold and I felt like I had been snapped into pieces. There were military honors at the graveside, taps, 21 gun salute, and a folded flag.

And I have been thinking since then ... this sort of thing happens countless times a day. People lose loved ones. They wake up that morning and they have no idea that today will be the day that they lose someone important to them. How do you deal with that? The "what ifs" are never ending and messed up.


I am looking forward very much to a day when I wake up from a restful sleep with no dreams, a day where I don't have to stress about where I work and what I am doing with my life.

2010?

On Holiday

I officially started my vacation yesterday. 10 beautiful days where I don't have to go to work. Where I don't have to spend 8 1/2 hours wondering just what the hell happened. 8 1/2 hours where I don't have to train my replacements, answering questions that I wouldn't have to ask.

So, I am on vacation and I have never been more thrilled.

So far I have had lunch with friends, visited with my niece and nephew, and slept. My nephew Breydon got released from the hospital. Which is super great news. He is in that great stage where he is still small enough to be snuggly, but not small enough that you feel you will break him.

I am looking forward to seeing the new Twilight movie (go ahead and mock me now). I wound up reading all of the books out of boredom and found them very enjoyable. The first movie was just ok. But I think more often than not the books are better than movies.

Believe me, I will probably never hear the end of going to see the Sexy Vampire movie (J: Oh there's werewolves too! Awesome)

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

Outside my window...an absolutely beautiful morning


I am thinking...that I wish the laundry would hang itself


I am thankful for...opportunities.

I am wearing...pajamas

I am remembering...I need to pick up Lola's medication today

I am going...to have an interesting day ... hopefully with no nervous breakdowns

I am reading...nothing. I just finished the last book in the Twilight series. J ordered me Notes Left Behind, so I am waiting for that to come. And I also need to get the latest Post Secret book.

I am hoping...that today is a good day.

I am creating...a speech in my mind that I will probably never give

On my mind...how my current employment situation gives me a totally nervous stomach

From the kitchen...a cold can of Coca Cola.

Around the house...it is actually quiet. No barking dogs or yard equipment being run.

Some of my favorite things...Klaus, Lola, J, the new Tivo, my red ipod, Muse, wearing flip flops in November

A few plans for the rest of the week...my main goal this week is to keep my sanity. Enjoy the time alone in my car listening to music and try to be positive.

A photo to share...A photo from the Undisclosed Desires video by Muse. I <3 them.





this post taken from the super cool Amber, who should post more photos of her brown dogs ;)

When people run in circles it's a very, very ... mad world

Several things on my mind this Sunday evening.

Funny how an asinine farming game on Facebook can reverse years of silence. Years in which I spent wondering why most of the people that should protect a child from evil, instead shunned the kid and embraced the evil.

But now, those people need help with their farm on Facebook.

I couldn't make this shit up if I had been trying to.



I have spent the better part of the last two weeks reading the Twilight books. My love for all things Muse related prompted me to do it. Turns out, that while the premise is ridiculous, that the books are pretty easy to read and terribly addictive. So, I will set aside my pride and take the ribbings from J about reading books about "sexy vampires".



Lastly, just because I am the owner of two fantastically adorable dogs:







They know they can give me those eyes and I will absolutely let them lay on the freshly cleaned bed sheets.

Yours Truly, Angry Mob

Long week.

Got bit by my moms basset hound.

Again.

Went to the urgent care and got a tetnus shot and a 10 day supply of antibiotics. Now on day 5 and it has turned into a nasty oozing mess. Not excited about that. It is really hard to keep a wound clean when it is on your dominant hand.

When you work around small children.

Children who have very little respect for personal space or washing their hands after they sneeze.

Fail.

I became an aunt x3 on Sunday. Breydon Joseph.



He is not feeling well and is in the hospital still. But they are taking care of him and hopefully he will be well enough to go home.

My grandpa is also in the hospital, he is having some troubles and I really wish that the hospital he was in wasn't made of fail.

I am tired and feeling antibiotic-icky. I want it to stop raining and start being sunshiny.

And I am hoping that things in general get better.

These Days We Go To Waste Like Wine, Thats Turned To Turpentine

One of my friends from college lost her battle with cancer today.

28 is far too young to be gone and 2 months is far too short a time to get a diagnosis and try to make a plan of attack. To mentally prepare yourself for the fight of your life. 2 months to go from being a healthy person to one who is taken by an insidious disease.

And I am feeling pretty ashamed of myself.

For wallowing in self pity and depression. For not taking advantage of the fact that I am a healthy 28 year old.

Wasting time. Time that is not guaranteed. Time that is on loan from nature.

So, more of my time will go towards playing with the dogs in the backyard. And going to the bookstore and drinking overpriced coffee. More time will be invested in enjoying the artwork that kids make and less time on the faults of the adults around us.

I will savor the car rides when I am alone and can sing as loud as I want. I will go to the movie with my husband and I will get the popcorn while I am there.

Appropriate lyrics for the moment:

These days we go to waste like wine
That's turned to turpentine
It's 6am and I'm all messed up
I didn't mean to waste your time
So I'll fall back in line
But I'm warning you we're growing up

Turpentine/ Brandi Carlile

The Beginning of The End

If you hadn't noticed by now, the economy is kind of in the crapper.

Until recently my small family had remained unscathed.

Rich people were still flying. Regular people were still having kids and needing child care for them.

I had a job that I really enjoyed.

J had a job with a respected company that provided great benefits for their employees.

The trip down the crapper began a few weeks ago when a bunch of folks at J's job were told their services were not needed. No longer could the company operate they way they were and survive. So folks got a few minutes to gather their belongings and turn in their badges to security and hit the road.

For the time being, J still has a position and hopefully that remains the case.

The very same day that people were turning in their badges, I was packing up my office. Not because I was told my services were no longer needed. But so that the new office furniture could be put in and the new paint color could be put up.

My bosses boss had requested that we pick out the color (crocodile tears). It was nice to be moving up in the world. Little did I know that the very next week, the new finance lady would be moving into my office and I would be moving back into a classroom, apparently being relieved of my administrative duties.

Enrollment was down, there were too many teachers. As bummed out as I was, I was thankful to still have a job - in some capacity.

So I spent last week with the knowledge that me moving into a classroom would ultimately be the catalyst for someone else losing their job. Hours got slashed in half for a few staff members. Lunch breaks became unpaid.

Today we had a very informative staff meeting in which my bosses boss told us that because our center was affiliated with a church, we needed to run with integrity. And that included taking breaks that complied with Federal Regulations. Lest the FEDERAL DEPARTMENT OF LABOR come in and audit us.

If you are a reader of my lamesauce blog, you will recall that shit hasn't worked in months. Phones, fire panel, air conditioning, computers. In my somewhat simple mind, fixing those things would be a more pressing matter than fixing the unpaid breaks.

Apparently, however, the FEDERAL DEPARTMENT OF LABOR is more concerned that full time employees clock out for their breaks than for the building in which they work to be safe.

So, the writing has been on the wall (or left on the copy machine for inquiring minds to read) for a while. That which does not bring profit will not continue. Even if it is a "ministry". Even if you tell your employees that you care about them.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you work in a child care center with less than 20 employees or if you work at a company that is run by the richest man in the world.

If you believe for a second that the people you are employed by care about you or your family; odds are you are wrong. Business people are business people for a reason, even if they are the leader of a church.

Lamesauce

I haven't written in 3 months. The summer got away from me. It was not what I expected it to be. Things seldom are, right?

As of late, I have been saturated with negativity. I am doing my best to prevent taking so much of that on. It is difficult for me, because I already tend to be on the cynical side.

It takes VERY little for me to be a crabby, sarcastic, glass-half-empty witch.

But I want to remind you people out there, if there are any of you actually reading this: niceness matters.

Small acts of kindness matter.

Rushing to judgment is not ok. Projecting your lack of life enjoyment on others is not ok.

My list of "ok" things:
-Loving your dogs, to the point where they eat better than you and you are reluctant to clean the inside of the windows in your car, because their nose art is pretty rad.
-Loving music, listening to it at your desk, in the car, while you are in the shower.
-Watching a reality tv show. And looking forward to the nights it comes on.
-Salt and Vinegar Kettle Chips.


I am trying real hard to add to that list. I really wish others would follow my lead on that.

Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

I have never experienced such fail as the fail that I have experienced this week.

Fail in all aspects and areas of my life.

The weekend could never possibly be long enough.

Friends in Low Places

I am certain that if you have ever read any of my previous blogs, you are aware of the complete and utter FAIL of the building I work in. We haven't had proper and consistent air conditioning or heat since the great fire alarm debacle of March.

Because I am employed by The Lord, we do not use actual repairmen to fix our problems. We use friends of friends who may have, at one point in time, looked at an air conditioning unit. One of my favorite friend of a friend "repairman" is named Jim* (named changed to protect the innocent). Jim has been out several times to fix our HVAC issues. Jim is missing several teeth, has a fondness of Mt. Dew, and often times smells of body odor.

Jim also has no real clue of how to actually fix a commercial air conditioner. So yesterday when Jim came to my office and declared that the ac for the toddler room was in fact working, I was a bit skeptical. Then he told me that the reason it was so hot in the toddler rooms was because the thermostat in the janitors closet was not kicking on because it was so cold in the closet.

At this point my brain had a minor explosion and I pointed out that the thermostat that controls the toddler rooms is not in the janitors closet, but (wait for it) ... is in the TODDLER ROOM.

So we fought for a good 5 minutes about this at which point I decided that the impending stroke was not worth it and I went back to my office to calm myself.

Jim apparently is not a big fan of the women folk having an opinion and called his boss (who is a board member ie. friend of a friend) and expressed his displeasure with my interference in his genius work. The pastor comes this morning to talk to me and I explain the idiocy that took place yesterday and my displeasure with having to coach the HVAC man how HVAC things worked. I believe the phrase "not in my job description" was used.

So he said that he understood and to let Jim know if he had questions, to call the board member or himself. Novel fucking idea eh?




and that's why it's good to be .....



Me.

Breathe Us In, Slowly

So Week One of CPAP usage is in the books. I wish I could say that I am feeling refreshed and lively. I am not. But, it hasn't been AS bad as I thought it would be. My biggest issue is waking up in the middle of the night. If something (cat,dog,husband, ect) wakes me up, I have a very hard time getting back to sleep. Getting the mask to seal perfectly is somewhat of a science and once you start messing around with it you might as well forget about falling right back to sleep.

I have a Resmed Swift mask.

Basically this little nasal pillow fits nicely up to my nostrils and attaches to tubing that goes into the cpap machine.



The tubing connects to the machine which pushes filtered air over a heated humidifier and into my nose. If the humidifier is too warm, it can cause water to pool in the mask, waking you up with something akin to waterboarding.

Other than the sensation of being forcibly drowned and knowing that you look like a cyborg in the bed, it hasn't been too terrible.

Last night was our Preschool Graduation. I am not sure why Preschoolers need a Graduation ceremony, but it seems like a good excuse to hand out portfolios and eat cake. Several of the kids won't be staying for the summer and I will miss them.

Work has been increasingly frustrating. Besides the fact that the air conditioning is STILL NOT WORKING, we have been dealing with a check forgery case, and losing our self payers one by one as the economy has slipped. I know that things will turn around, but I don't like when our numbers are not as high as normal.

And in an ironic tidbit of trivia, 3 years ago today I had my first sinus surgery.

06/06/06


heh.

Why does it say paperjam when there is no paperjam?

Reasons I am not feeling my place of employment right now:

1. Lack of functioning air conditioning
2. The color printer/copier does not print in English. It is some sort of Arabic font.
3. Dead people down the street.
4. Lack of leadership willing to be assertive.


I am fixing to go Office Space on this place.

I've Seen Enough

The birthday is over. It was a mediocre event made significantly better by some good friends who I happen to work with. Cake, italian food, and a group of 5 year olds singing Happy Birthday made up for everything else.

Yesterday marked the annual field trip to the Columbus Zoo, or as I like to call it "Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?" Trip. The WTTWAGI Trip always seems exciting in the days leading up to the event.

Baby Elephants!

Gorillas!

Manatees!

In reality it is a pointless excursion that involves a very cranky child locked into a stroller, too short to see over the rail at the bears. It also involves going into a food court that apparently feeds the entire population of Franklin County, fighting for a dirty table, standing in line for 58 minutes to get a cold slice of pizza.

And you know what else? The train ride is ALWAYS broke. Never mind the fact that while you were walking up the damn hill to get to the train station you see it running. With people on it. By the time you get to the depot to buy tickets, it is no longer in service. So then, you have to walk down the damn hill, with the kid in the stroller who does not understand why they can't ride the train. The kid who is hot, tired, hungry, and too short to see over the railing.

So, you say, lets stop at the pretzel stand. We will get a pretzel and an ICEE and that will make up for the lack of a functioning train ride through the zoo. So, you stand in line, and of course you are behind "those people". The ones who are only capable of communicating with their children by SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS so loud that the meerkats on the other side of the zoo twist their heads in confusion. By the way, they are out of pretzels.

By this time, the children in strollers are typically in a dark, quiet room, laying on a cot, listening to lullabies for a nice two hour nap. By this time, they don't care about the Baby Elephant, or the train. Their kind parents who have naively volunteered to chaperone a field trip are wondering what the hell they were thinking and how soon can they leave without looking bad.

So, you decide that you have had all the fun you can possibly stand in one day and you make your way to the exit. You wonder how come the car seems SO far away. You barely have time to unstrap the kid from the stroller and strap them into their car seats before they are snoring.

In the midst of it all, you thank the great Flying Spaghetti Monster that no one was lost or stolen, that there is indeed a Starbucks with a drive thru on the way home, and that you didn't get arrested while taking a picture of a misspelled word on the back of a bathroom stall.

All in all a great day.

I'm Afraid of Americans

There is something about the mention of "shaving your soft palate and uvula" that makes a CPAP machine suddenly seem a much more pleasant option.

Went to the ENT today and he told me that even if he did the aforementioned procedures, along with removing my tonsils and adenoids, there was no guarantee that I will see all of my apnea symptoms go away. So, I suppose I will be calling the sleep doctor and telling her that I won't be having surgery and would like (?) to try the CPAP machine.


Last Thursday brought the disturbing news that a man who lived down the road from my school was found murdered in his home. Apparently he had been deceased since Tuesday. There hasn't been much information released, other than the fact that it happened, but I have a hunch that it was drug related. The thing that bothers me (other than people being shot in my general vicinity) is that after the day the incident happens, you don't hear anything more about it. I suppose that is just the nature of the news outlets.



Klaus is doing very well after his surgery on his tail. I am still amazed how resilient he is. Every once in a while he will bump his little nub on something or Lola will nip at it and he will yelp. We are hoping that the hair will grow back quickly, so it won't look so strange.




The Husband and I went to the movie theater this past weekend and saw the Angels and Demons movie. I had already read the book, so I knew how it ended, but I still really enjoyed the movie. Ewan McGregor is one of my favorites and I really want to go to Italy.


My 28th birthday is quickly approaching. I have been out of High School for 10 years. Today, I feel old.

Kingdom of Rust

I have been remiss in posting updates. Not sure that anyone has missed them, but at any rate, here is news from the land of Amy.

Dog News: Lola has been doing really well with her current dosage of Pheno. I hope that we continue to be seizure free.

Klaus had surgery last Thursday on his tail. We opted to amputate a large portion of the tail to prevent reinjury.

He has done so well with his recovery, barely bothering at the bandaging at all. We go on the 11th to have the stitches taken out. Hopefully then we will be on the road to a drama free summer.

People News: I had a sleep study done a few weeks ago. Turns out I will be needing another one done to try out a CPAP machine. (This is my sad face) I am very concerned that I will be facing surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids sooner than later.

Good times.

He's Going the Distance

Designated Driver Fail

CLICKY ^



I know that you will laugh, even though you know you shouldn't

Mad World

Another rainy spring day in Ohio.

I miss the sun!

I am hoping by the time summer gets here we will all be in better shape and we can get out and enjoy the sunshine and warmth.

Klaus is going to be having laser surgery to remove the part of his tail that was damaged. We are trying to decide if we want to do a total amputation or just remove the damaged part. My main concern is, if we leave part of the tail, is he going to injure it again?

We aren't really worried about the aesthetic issue, we have already decided that we will just tell people he is part Rottweiler. The main concern is that he is no longer dealing with a nasty, oozing tippy tail that sprays blood all over the walls when he whacks into them with no apparent concern that he is hurting himself.

So, in a few weeks we will be scheduling his tail-ectomey.

In German Shepherd news, the current dosage of Pheno looks to be working well for Lola. She hasn't had any episodes for about a week now. However, I can't get the specific dosage at the vet office, so they had to write me a prescription for it. I took it to Giant Eagle and they only looked mildly concerned that I had a daughter named Lola who was on 100mg of Phenobarbital twice a day.

In work news, we have had a run of unfortunate incidents lately.

*Creepy Bathroom Guy (who we haven't seen for a couple of weeks)

*A parents car got broken into while she was dropping off her child (don't leave your purse sitting in your car whilst you are not in it)

*A woman was shot in the face while following suspected burglars on the road in front of our school

I do not, in the words of Dr. B. "work in the ghetto"

But, my anxiety of being responsible for the safety of 70 some children rises with each seemingly random episode.

We have made some upgrades to our security system, including a camera placed at the entrance.



Security Gnome may prove to be more effective than ADT

It Doesn't Remind Me Of Anything

Serious questions this afternoon.


Should the weather really have such a negative affect on me?

Should I let the insipid, gnawing worry take over my brain?

I think I am smarter than all of this. But I have still spent the day in an incredible funk.

Maybe instead of sleeping through the weekend I should go out and do something.

We will see. I have to make it 4 more days before I can think about weekend plans.

Hopefully 4 days that don't include dog related illness or emergency. Or work related stupidity (ha). Maybe I will go home and clean tonight. That might make me feel like I have accomplished something.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

In my quest to constantly pick out things that are misspelled ... I caught this gem hanging from the door of the Pre-K room.



Not sure how this made it past quality control, or the cashiers at Michael's craft shop, or past the teachers at school, but I am pretty sure this may be one of the best finds of mine so far.

But nothing will beat the Child Medical Statement from the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services being sent to every child care in the state with the word Influenza spelled Ifluenza.

J told me I was silly for calling the state to let them know that there was a typo on one of their official forms. But I did it anyway. Apparently I was the only one who cared enough to call and let them know.

I wish there was some sort of prize for this shit.

Parting of the Sensory

My girl is sick.

For two days she had moments of panic, like something was hurting her. The vet suspected anxiety and gave us medicine to calm her. Yesterday after we got home and gave her the medicine she had a grand mal seizure on the back patio.

It was by far one of the worst things I have ever seen. My heart was breaking for her during, and now, a day after, I feel so sad for her.

Back to the vet a second time last night, and the vet now believes that the episodes of panic and disorientation were precursors to the grand mal seizure and that she may have been seeing things as an aura.

We had a very long and stressful night, watching her closely for any signs of distress - trying to calm her into a healing sleep.

I asked my vet yesterday: Is it possible that I have a dog with Addison's Disease and a dog with Epilepsy?

He just smiled and shook his head yes.

I feel broken, and maybe I shouldn't feel that way. But I love them so much. They have been a constant source of comfort and enjoyment for J and I.

We will continue to do everything we can to make sure that they receive the same from us.

Post Seizure Lola waiting in the exam room at the vet ... possibly trying to will me to get myself together.

No One's Going To Take Me Alive!

So Muse announced that they will be touring the US this fall.

With some dates opening for U2.

1st thought: OMFG! I WILL FINALLY GET TO SEE MUSE

2nd thought: OMFG! U2? I cannot stand fucking Bono!!

I have waited 2 very long years to see Muse and the thought of having to pay $250 for a U2 ticket to see them play 4 songs is incredibly concerning.

*exasperation*

I got my propaganda; I got revisionism

I should totally be cleaning

That's me in the corner

So I was brutally and unequivocally reminded yesterday of why I stopped going to church.

[pastor]
"It's not her job to look at them as people" [/pastor]

Listen friends, if you are leaving your eternal soul to the convictions of these people ... be afraid.

The Almighty Dollar has taken over for the Almighty Spirit.


And in other news that may contribute to my untimely stroke related death ...

Creepy Bathroom Guy has apparently been sleeping in his truck over nights in our parking lot.

As I was preparing to depart the House of The Lord yesterday I see him arrive and try to get into the building. Fail. He then gets back into his surprisingly nice truck and leaves.

That's right bitch! Go wash up in someone else's sink!




I need to start looking up options for concealed carry in this great state of mine.

Blow Up the Outside World

So, I am a pretty big Chris Cornell fan.

Soundgarden was the beginning of my teenage musical rebellion. Black Hole Sun continues to be one of my favorite songs from the 90's. Audioslave was decent. As was Temple of the Dog. And I really believe Chris Cornell's voice is more than adequate enough to be a solo artist (like anyone cares what I believe).

I hear that he worked with Timbaland for his most recent album, Scream.

Wait ... what?

I have yet to hear anything positive about this album. Maybe it is just because the indie/grunge loyalists can't stand to think that Timbaland has infiltrated their world.

Maybe it just sucks.

Imagine my happiness in seeing this on PerezHilton.com (yes, I am one of those people)

A feud's a brewin'!

The latest tweet from Nine Inch Nails' frontman Trent Reznor's Twitter?

He's talkin' mad shit on former Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell!

Says Reznor: "You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell's record? Jesus."

Ooooh, the claws are coming out!

We're on your side, Trent!

It pleases me to no end to see Mr. Reznor being referred to in the mainstream media.

Now if I could only see Matt Bellamy on PerezHilton.com I could die happy.

Are You Dead or Are You Sleeping?

Several items of interest on this Friday

1. I broke down and went to see Dr. B yesterday. A Z Pack and a fancy new nose spray later, I am out there door with the news that everyone in Central Ohio is sick and I am apparently no different.

2. There are 4 stalls in the woman's bathroom at my place of employment. One of which is handicapped. There are normally about 20 women in the building at one time. Plus however many use the facilities on weeknights and weekends for church. You would think that the woman's bathroom would be clean. It isn't. Inevitably there is always one toilet that has not been flushed. Who doesn't flush the toilet??

There is only one male typically in the building during the day time. I am thinking about using the men's bathroom. I bet men are more apt to double flush if necessary.

3. Klaus' tail has been dealt a major set back. He hit it very hard and fresh blood splatter resulted all over the kitchen. It is back to being wrapped up and he is sporting the fancy Petsmart Elizabethan XX Large collar. He goes to the vet next week for his monthly Percorten injection and I believe we will be having a serious discussion about surgery.

I would try to close this blog with something witty, but my brain is mostly dead.

the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

So ...

I am going to die prematurely from work related stress.

It is a well known fact that the building I work in was built by a team of 1st graders using plywood and elmer's glue. Things fall apart here. All the time. If it isn't the air conditioning, it is the water system. If it isn't the hot water heater, it is a classroom toilet backed up.

The latest in the list of things that don't work properly: one of the heating units.

The heating unit that is responsible for warming my office to an ungodly temperature. The one that has been malfunctioning for weeks, even though the thermostat has been turned to the OFF position, hot air still pumping freely above my desk like some tropical jungle.

We resorted to opening windows and turning on fans.

Last Tuesday the building security system went off ... showing a fire alert. We checked around and nothing seemed to be ablaze so ADT had us reset the system.

Fast forward to Friday around 5:45pm. I am getting ready to take a deposit to the bank when I notice the smell of burning in my office. I walk into the gym to gather a second opinion when the fire alarms go off.

So out we go, me cursing the fact that I am not going to get to leave work at a reasonable hour.

We stand in the parking lot, babies in fire escape cribs, children sitting criss cross in the grass wondering what exactly was transpiring.

About 10 minutes (!!) later, two gigantic Columbus fire trucks roll up and the Calvary arrives, obviously let down that the building is not fully engulfed in flames.

So the leader of the Calvary has me lead him into the building and show him where the annunciator panel is so he can turn off the screaming alarm. Then he proceeds to have his group of gigantic firemen go through each and every room to make sure nothing was secretly on fire.

Then he proceeds to go up to where the furnaces are housed and realize that one of them has been running non stop and apparently had burnt up, sending smoke into the ducts and tripping the fire alarm.

After all the excitement was over ... I just couldn't get this one song out of my head.

Fire, Water, Burn by the Bloodhound Gang ....

We don't need no water let the mother f*cker burn ....

You'll remember me when the west wind moves

I normally do a pretty good job of keeping the sadness and depression at bay.

Not doing such a good job today.

Do you ever listen to a song, even though it makes you cry? Or put it on repeat and sob?




yeah, me neither.

I don't want to love my dogs as much as I do. Because I know that one day I am going to have to do the same thing my mom did with Jake today and it is truly awful.

RIP Jakers

don't stand so close to me

So I work in a church. Not a big church, nor a small church. Just a regular sized church. With a child care program.

However, we are a stone throws away from a super mega church. An on-the-tv-Sunday-morning-yelling-about-Jesus mega church.

People literally uproot their whole lives and travel from around the country to be a part of this church. To minister from this church. To be a part of the educational arm of this church.

They live their life in near poverty in to a part of this church.

And the funny thing is ...

If it isn't Sunday morning - they have no access to this church.

Countless times, lost souls have turned up at our church, looking for gas money or food, or just to talk to someone. And they have been turned away from the super mega church. Not even allowed to enter the building.

So, therein lies a conflict of interest for me.

I work in a building that has 65 ish children inside of it. I know that there are bad people in the world. People who have bad intentions and will often times act on those intentions.

So while I feel for the ones who are needy, and looking for someone to talk to or someone to help them out, I can't ignore the fact that I have people's children in my care. And if something were to happen because of a decision I made - well, I would rather not think of that.

I tell this story because this morning (before I get to work) that a gentleman came to the door and requested to use the bathroom. He had apparently traveled from out of state to come to the Super Mega Church but was having issue getting in.

One staff member told him that she couldn't let him in, and another staff member felt that the man was genuine in his need and let him in the building.

The first staff member informs several other staff members and text messages are being sent and I am officially freaking out.

The man spends a good 30 minutes in the bathroom and after I arrive with a large screwdriver in my back pocket, he finally emerges and is politely shown the door.

So we had a heart to heart with the staff members that we are not letting transients from California in to bathe in our bathrooms so they look good when they go over to the super mega church.

This was on Post Secret last week and I thought it was funny.

I would go to church too if Jim was the pastor.

fin.

Time

Tomorrow is Friday and there couldn't be better news in my opinion.

This has been a trying week.

I finally succumbed to the bug that is spreading at work. I have spent an overwhelming amount of time trying not to die. My sinuses couldn't decide if they wanted to be completely plugged or if they wanted to be completely and painfully dry. My throat has been equally unpleasant.

My heart is also sad with the news that my moms beagle Jake has hemangiosarcoma

Not only am I sad that Jake is very ill, but it is a terrible reminder of just how short our dogs lives are.

I cannot stand to think about losing my dogs. But I know that the time will come when we will have to make the terrible decision to help them to the bridge and the thought terrifies and sickens me.

Hug your dogos tonight.

down with the sickness

So, have you ever had such a bad stuffy nose that you can't sleep?


So bad that you are up at 4:30 am with your insomniac husband eating a bowl of Lucky Charms and watching a program on PBS about the Shuttle Columbia Accident?


There will be NyQuil consumed this evening.

Things I have learned in the last 24 hours

• There has yet to be an Elizabethan Collar that can withstand the powerhouse that is Klaus
• You shouldn't joke with your boss via text messaging that the only possible way the day could get any better is a surprise inspection from the State
• The State inspector has an uncanny ability to show up at the most unfortunate times
• The months I have spent auditing children's files was not a massive waste of my time
• There will always be someone, somewhere who forgets to wash their hands after they wipe a nose
  

Bummed

Feeling slightly bummed this evening.

Current grievances include:

• brown dog ailments
• passat ailments (water pump?)
• winter blahs
• family
• anxiety
• family
• family

I am thinking maybe a visit to Dr. B is in order.

and because I think the Snuggie is the best thing to come around since the ShamWow! ...

Happy Tail

So, I have this dog that I adopted from the animal shelter a few years ago. He is a chocolate lab named Klaus. He loves to swim, play fetch, and occasionally eat poo. He sleeps in our bed and only wears special ordered collars.

He has also had some sort of affliction since the day we brought him home. At first there was the massive upper respiratory infection. Green snot that was in a constant state of drainage from his nose. Snot on the walls. Snot on the furniture.

Then there was the allergies. The naked belly. The constant ear infections.

And late last year, the Addison's Disease that was by far the scariest and most serious affliction of all. But we got it worked out and he is doing better.

Enter Happy Tail.

Common in several breeds of dogs, happy tail occurs when the tail is wagged so hard against objects that it breaks the skin. Left untreated, or unsuccessfully treated, tail amputation is sometimes necessary.

So for the last two weeks we have been dealing with the dog-whose-tail-doesn't-stop spraying blood all over the place. Several different methods of wrapping the tail have been tried. Today we used pipe insulation and vet wrap. I also have an Elizabethan Collar for him to wear when we can't watch him.

He is understandably not happy. I told him it is for his own good. Swimming is not as easy when you don't have an otter tail to guide you.

sadness

airplanes and icing is never a good thing ...

case in point

I find a cruel irony in the fact that the fatal crash of Continental 3407 comes just a month after the miraculous splash landing of USAir 1549.

So sad.

In other news, I came to work and found this on my desk:



Someone lurves me.

Things on my desk

I should be cleaning off my desk.

I do my best to keep some sort of order in my workspace, but find myself failing on an almost daily basis.

I don't really think it is my fault, either.

I deal with a lot of paper work. Most courtesy of the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services. A large part of my job is to make sure that all of the children have the correct forms in their file. All forms must be updated annually. Forms may be subject to being completely changed by ODJFS at any given time.

Which means I get to start all over again.

I also am in charge of the teachers files. This means all of their background checks, statements of non conviction, training hours, medical statements and tax forms.

I think I have a pretty good system going. However, things get left on my desk and I am never really sure where they come from. Like post it notes with names and phone numbers. Thermometers. Little sticky foam hearts. Half completed forms from parents who don't apparently realize that there is, indeed, a whole back side that needs to be filled out.

So, I could get to cleaning my desk off, but I am sure there is something on CNN.com that needs my attention more urgently.