the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

So ...

I am going to die prematurely from work related stress.

It is a well known fact that the building I work in was built by a team of 1st graders using plywood and elmer's glue. Things fall apart here. All the time. If it isn't the air conditioning, it is the water system. If it isn't the hot water heater, it is a classroom toilet backed up.

The latest in the list of things that don't work properly: one of the heating units.

The heating unit that is responsible for warming my office to an ungodly temperature. The one that has been malfunctioning for weeks, even though the thermostat has been turned to the OFF position, hot air still pumping freely above my desk like some tropical jungle.

We resorted to opening windows and turning on fans.

Last Tuesday the building security system went off ... showing a fire alert. We checked around and nothing seemed to be ablaze so ADT had us reset the system.

Fast forward to Friday around 5:45pm. I am getting ready to take a deposit to the bank when I notice the smell of burning in my office. I walk into the gym to gather a second opinion when the fire alarms go off.

So out we go, me cursing the fact that I am not going to get to leave work at a reasonable hour.

We stand in the parking lot, babies in fire escape cribs, children sitting criss cross in the grass wondering what exactly was transpiring.

About 10 minutes (!!) later, two gigantic Columbus fire trucks roll up and the Calvary arrives, obviously let down that the building is not fully engulfed in flames.

So the leader of the Calvary has me lead him into the building and show him where the annunciator panel is so he can turn off the screaming alarm. Then he proceeds to have his group of gigantic firemen go through each and every room to make sure nothing was secretly on fire.

Then he proceeds to go up to where the furnaces are housed and realize that one of them has been running non stop and apparently had burnt up, sending smoke into the ducts and tripping the fire alarm.

After all the excitement was over ... I just couldn't get this one song out of my head.

Fire, Water, Burn by the Bloodhound Gang ....

We don't need no water let the mother f*cker burn ....