Things I have learned in the last 24 hours

• There has yet to be an Elizabethan Collar that can withstand the powerhouse that is Klaus
• You shouldn't joke with your boss via text messaging that the only possible way the day could get any better is a surprise inspection from the State
• The State inspector has an uncanny ability to show up at the most unfortunate times
• The months I have spent auditing children's files was not a massive waste of my time
• There will always be someone, somewhere who forgets to wash their hands after they wipe a nose