Destroy This City of Delusion

Good Evening.

I have been busy listening to Muse and browsing zappos.com looking for shoes that I don't need and shouldn't buy.

But I have to figure out something for summer footwear, because apparently my beloved Old Navy flip flops are not allowed at the new job and I have no idea what I will wear. Thumbs down to that.

I was thinking today about a status I saw on Facebook last week basically "shaming" Americans for donating to relief efforts in Haiti when there are so many Americans themselves in poverty.

Several points come to mind:

1. Helping others in need is quintessentially American. We give when there is great need. We have done so for a very long time, and for various different reasons. I like to think that is something that sets our country apart from many others, the fact that our people are compassionate and can be selfless.

2. In my mind there is a question of disaster origin. Yes, there are many in America who have very little. There are also plenty of people in America who have placed themselves in crisis by living outside their means and by taking advantage of others charity. The disasters in New Orleans, Indian Ocean Tsunami, and the earthquake in Haiti were disasters that the residents of the respective locations had no control over. No one had any idea that the land would shake and open and kill almost 200,000 people a few weeks ago.

Should we deny these people relief simply because they are not Americans?

Or is it American to give relief because we have been provided more opportunities than most of the worlds population?

And how many Americans out there would refuse to give aid to their fellow Americans? I know that I donated to the Red Cross for Hurricane Katrina relief.

Does donating aid to a foreign country make you less American?

I don't think it does.

Now, sit back and enjoy this rare live performance of Muses City of Delusion

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life

So, I have completed 3 weeks at the new job, and I could not be happier. I feel truly lucky that this opportunity was open while I was on the search for a new job.

I am finding it a challenge to make lesson plans for 12-18 month old children, but I am working it out. I'm also looking forward to starting the series of classes from Action for Children dealing with Infant and Toddler development. (Yes, I am that person who enjoys classes)

And when I am not at work, I have found myself glued to CNN watching coverage of the earthquake in Haiti. Tragic and heartbreaking and after a while I had to make myself turn it off. Granted, I haven't watched any other networks coverage, but CNN's reporters have done a really respectful, professional, and genuine job of covering the earthquake. From reading Anderson Coopers book, Dispatches from the Edge, I know that there is no other place in the world that he would have been.

I think there is a real reason that we identify with AC so much. He is just as messed up as the rest of us. And he has super awesome gray hair.

I will leave you with this for no real reason at all:

On Why the 2000s Can DIAF

So, I think that I have spent every New Years Eve this decade hoping that the next year will be better than the last.

And it seems as if every following year seems to be as fucked, if not more fucked than the year before.

I don't think I am going to wish that anymore. Not that it was all bad ... I got married, graduated from college, got two awesome dogs. It is just that the bad seemed to overwhelm the good. I lost my grandparents on my moms side. I had two sinus surgeries. Countless trips to the emergency room for kidney stones. Watched people close to me suffer through painful physical and emotional traumas.

I spent pretty much the whole decade at the same place of employment, moving up and being an effective leader - only to be cut down in a pitiful manner. I feel like it is super fitting that I start my new job on the very first Monday of the new year. Change has been made and for that I am pumped up.

I got the chance to travel to some amazing places in the last 10 years. Tours to New York, Florida, and Europe with Chapel Choir. Trips to Texas and Chicago with J. There are SO many more places I want to go, but I do feel like I have been lucky to see the places I have so far.

I got to see many of my favorite bands ... Modest Mouse, Green Day, Dave Matthews Band, REM, The National, Nine Inch Nails. I was never up front in the pit, but I always enjoyed the show, even from the back where the old people were.

And now without further ado ... some pictures from the 2000s

You fancy a rock out?

Admittedly, Starlight is not one of my most favorite Muse songs. But it has a brilliant video and an even more brilliant making of the video ... video.

First ... watch this

(I would embed a youtube video, but Muse's record label has taken all of their official videos off ... bunch of cockwaffles.)

Second ... watch this in HD. It will probably take you several times to figure out what they are saying in their adorable British accents.


My personal favorites:

Do you fancy a rock out?/ It's not that kind of song
Who's going to fire the gun off?/ I think you'll find that will be me
There's going to be loads of people looking at that and thinking A MASSIVE SHIP IS SINKING!

Lastly there is a very real possibility that I will get to see Muse this year. My very first Muse show!

And that is why I <3 2010 already.

What I listened to in 2009

Amy's Super Favorite Tracks of 2009


Muse - United States of Eurasia +Collateral Damage

I love Muse. I love Queen. I love Chopin. United States of Eurasia is made of total and complete overkill win.





Lady Gaga - Paparazzi

I like Lady Gaga. Go ahead and judge me. 9 times out of 10, I would find myself listening to Lady Gaga on my way to job interviews. I don't know why. Whatever, I do what I want.





Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

This song reminds me a lot of "What It's Like" by Everlast. I like the line about the preacher lining his pockets with righteous dollar bills. Good Stuff. I also like that the lead singer appears to be having some sort of eplieptic fit when he performs live.





Manchester Orchestra - I've Got Friends

I love, love, love the anger and passion in this song. And the lead singers kick ass beard.





Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears - Get Yo Shit!

Black Joe Lewis is one of the many reasons I really want to visit Austin Texas. This album is non stop rocking out, old school blues style. She said you don't even buy me presents - yeah I did, I bought you a box of chicken, but I ate it on the way home.





Them Crooked Vultures - New Fang

John Paul Jones, Dave Grohl, and Josh Homme. I am historically a fan of anything that involves Hommes voice. This is no different.





Green Day - East Jesus Nowhere

I loved American Idiot. I am not as in love with 21st Century Breakdown, but I do really like this song.

What has been seen ... cannot be unseen

Have you ever been poking around on the internet and wind up finding a former coworker/classmate/friends public social networking profile and on further inspection come upon a video of them mud wrestling in what looks to be someones garage?

No?


hmmm.

My tongue has now become a platform for your lies

Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. Some good. Some horrifying.

I'll start with the good.

I have had several opportunities present themselves in the last few weeks to make a significant change in my life. A possible change in where I spend 8 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week. A change that will possibly put me in a place where my education and experience will be valued and used, as opposed to it being used as a threat held above my head.

Let me tell you, it is extremely disheartening to be told that your education and experience(and subsequent pay rate) is a liability. To be told that you should have been the first to go when the shit hit the fan. To be told that a favor is being paid to you in keeping you on, when you have no real position.

(you thought I was starting out with the good, didn't you??)

So ... I have these opportunities and they are with respectable non profit organizations that care about quality and people and compassion. I should know something by the end of the week. And that will be an incredible, enormous, life changing weight off of my shoulders.

In other nice news, J and I now own two VW products. We brought home an 06 Jetta last week. It is super duper nice inside and beeps when you back up to let you know if you are going to run into something. Which is helpful when you are a bad driver, like me. Even though I will probably never drive it, because J thinks it is his car.


*sigh* now for the hard stuff ...

My mom called me on Thanksgiving and told me that my Grandpa had passed away. He was supposed to go to dinner at my uncles and didn't show. He had apparently suffered a heart attack and passed at home.



No one was prepared for this. Granted he was 77 years old, and had been through some health issues lately, but no one was ready for this.

The next few days went by in a blur in which I felt emotionally stunted and retarded. Even through the showing, I just didn't feel like it had happened. This changed the day of the funeral. It was clear, and cold and I felt like I had been snapped into pieces. There were military honors at the graveside, taps, 21 gun salute, and a folded flag.

And I have been thinking since then ... this sort of thing happens countless times a day. People lose loved ones. They wake up that morning and they have no idea that today will be the day that they lose someone important to them. How do you deal with that? The "what ifs" are never ending and messed up.


I am looking forward very much to a day when I wake up from a restful sleep with no dreams, a day where I don't have to stress about where I work and what I am doing with my life.

2010?

On Holiday

I officially started my vacation yesterday. 10 beautiful days where I don't have to go to work. Where I don't have to spend 8 1/2 hours wondering just what the hell happened. 8 1/2 hours where I don't have to train my replacements, answering questions that I wouldn't have to ask.

So, I am on vacation and I have never been more thrilled.

So far I have had lunch with friends, visited with my niece and nephew, and slept. My nephew Breydon got released from the hospital. Which is super great news. He is in that great stage where he is still small enough to be snuggly, but not small enough that you feel you will break him.

I am looking forward to seeing the new Twilight movie (go ahead and mock me now). I wound up reading all of the books out of boredom and found them very enjoyable. The first movie was just ok. But I think more often than not the books are better than movies.

Believe me, I will probably never hear the end of going to see the Sexy Vampire movie (J: Oh there's werewolves too! Awesome)

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

Outside my window...an absolutely beautiful morning


I am thinking...that I wish the laundry would hang itself


I am thankful for...opportunities.

I am wearing...pajamas

I am remembering...I need to pick up Lola's medication today

I am going...to have an interesting day ... hopefully with no nervous breakdowns

I am reading...nothing. I just finished the last book in the Twilight series. J ordered me Notes Left Behind, so I am waiting for that to come. And I also need to get the latest Post Secret book.

I am hoping...that today is a good day.

I am creating...a speech in my mind that I will probably never give

On my mind...how my current employment situation gives me a totally nervous stomach

From the kitchen...a cold can of Coca Cola.

Around the house...it is actually quiet. No barking dogs or yard equipment being run.

Some of my favorite things...Klaus, Lola, J, the new Tivo, my red ipod, Muse, wearing flip flops in November

A few plans for the rest of the week...my main goal this week is to keep my sanity. Enjoy the time alone in my car listening to music and try to be positive.

A photo to share...A photo from the Undisclosed Desires video by Muse. I <3 them.





this post taken from the super cool Amber, who should post more photos of her brown dogs ;)

When people run in circles it's a very, very ... mad world

Several things on my mind this Sunday evening.

Funny how an asinine farming game on Facebook can reverse years of silence. Years in which I spent wondering why most of the people that should protect a child from evil, instead shunned the kid and embraced the evil.

But now, those people need help with their farm on Facebook.

I couldn't make this shit up if I had been trying to.



I have spent the better part of the last two weeks reading the Twilight books. My love for all things Muse related prompted me to do it. Turns out, that while the premise is ridiculous, that the books are pretty easy to read and terribly addictive. So, I will set aside my pride and take the ribbings from J about reading books about "sexy vampires".



Lastly, just because I am the owner of two fantastically adorable dogs:







They know they can give me those eyes and I will absolutely let them lay on the freshly cleaned bed sheets.