Luck.

Yesterday while I was in a meeting at work, a local 614 number called me and left a voicemail.  Out of curiosity, I searched the Google for the phone number and saw that it was Riverside Interventional Radiology.  Once I was out of my meeting, I was able to check my voicemail and found that I needed to call back.  Searching my brain ... I realized that it is almost March and that April 2nd will be the one year anniversary that I had my tumor ablated by Dr. Lee. 

I called back on my lunch break, only to find that his nurse was not at her phone so I left a message. I assume that she wants to schedule my one year follow up.  One year where so much as changed. One year of knowing that I had something terrible inside me and just by chance, someone found that something terrible and burnt it the fuck up before it could move into my lungs or my brain. 

I still have my hair, and I still have my kidneys, and I am still fat and happy.

 Luck. (?)

This morning I awoke to terrible news on my Facebook feed that a dear friend now knows that this disease is inside of her.  And most likely she will have to endure the miserable treatments to save herself.  I hate it.  I hate the dread and uncertainty that anyone who has dealt with this disease feels.

I hate that I feel guilty about being so lucky.  I hate that within the span of a week one local family laid their 13 year old to rest due to this disease, while another faced the terrible truth that their young boy, who hasn't even had his first day in Kindergarten yet, has relapsed and will again have to fight Neuroblastoma.

I say all of this to say: be thankful.  Be aware of your body.  Don't let some doctor blow you off if you don't feel right.  Savor the simple, silly moments in your life. Do what brings you pleasure.