Something Is Not Right With Me

In a few minutes, I will be done with work for the week.  

My first Parent Teacher Conference as a High School Educator in the books.  No tears were shed.  On either side of the table. 

I will pack up my laptop and head to the Giant Eagle store and hope that it is not insane with Thanksgiving shoppers.

I will head home, and even though my first thought will be to get into bed in my dark bedroom, I will take Sophie on a walk.

Then, I will probably get in my bed in my dark bedroom with Sophie and Klaus.  I will probably read for a while, and then take a nap. I won't nap on my left side, because it hurts my kidney for some reason.

I'll be by myself this evening.  Which is ok.  My thoughts have been loud and angry and sad.  I will find some mindless TV to watch and hopefully drown it out.  I might be able to stay awake until Joe gets home.

I feel like the year that you beat Cancer, you should be celebrating and happy and grateful.  I feel guilty that instead I feel alone and anxious and tired.

I should feel better than this.  

I just don't.